


One Day and One Night At A Time

by EvergreenHRC



Category: Billary - Fandom, Political RPF, Political RPF - US 20th c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Billary, Billary Clinton - Freeform, F/M, Heartache, Poltical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:40:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11150520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvergreenHRC/pseuds/EvergreenHRC
Summary: Companion piece to '2 Different Couches' this is Hillary's POV with much more dialogue.





	One Day and One Night At A Time

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all enjoy this Companion Piece to 2 Different Couches. 
> 
> This one was hard to write and I really hope you all enjoy it.

18 hours. To most people 18 hours doesn't seem like much, but to Hillary it felt like an eternity. In those 18 hours she had gone through all the 7 steps of grief. She wanted the pain to stop, if only for a small moment so she could collect herself and formulate a coherent thought, but she couldn't. The cut was far too deep this time. He didn't just betray her, he embarrassed her, he made her a laughing stock, he made the butt of every joke.

The worst part is he had lied to her, Chelsea and the American people. Their President lied. Chelsea's father lied. Her husband, her best friend lied. That is all people would care about now, not that he was a good man that made a stupid decision, not a good President that wanted to make the country better... no all they saw now was a liar. She was so mad at him for so many things right now, but the one thing that ate away at her was the lie. No matter the issues and difficulties they had had in their marriage he was always at least honest to her about it. It hurt but it stung less because he was at least honest. That was not the case this time, he felt the need to bold face lie to her and it now left her to wonder... 'Was it more than just a critical lapse in judgment.'

Her sobs were loud. Her sobs were that of a broken woman. She didn't know Bill was in the study right next door, she didn't really know where he was in the Residence. She assumed he was in one of the spare rooms. He was the one who suggested he leave their marital bedroom, he wanted to give her as much space as she needed but he also wanted to be close enough to her that if she needed him... he was right there.

Yesterday morning played in her head over and over again like a broken record...

'Bill? What are you doing up?'

  
'Honey, I have to tell you something.'

  
'Oh my god is it Chelsea? Is she alright?'

  
'No. No. Baby she is fine, she is still asleep in her room.'

The last sigh of relief she would feel for a while.

'Then what is it honey? You only pace when there is a problem.'

He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. He was as pale as a ghost.

'Baby, there is something that I need to tell you.'

She reached over onto the night stand for her glasses so she could see him clearly. Once she put them on, she could tell this was not going to be an easy day.

'Bill, you're scaring me. What's happened?'  
'Sweetheart I don't know how to tell you.'  
'It's best to just do it and not overthink it.'

Another deep breath before the plunge into a turmoil of hell.

'Honey... I lied.'

Confusion on her face.

'About what?'

  
'About... the intern. I lied about her to you, and to Chelsea.'

Numbness.

'Bill, what do you mean you lied? Lied about what?'

She seemed calm, but her heart had dropped to her stomach. Thoughts of _'Please God no, don't do this to us.'_ flooded her mind.

'I did have an inappropriate relationship with her.'

The feeling was like bees just stinging her skin and her heart. Her breath was stuck in her throat, she was afraid to swallow. Before she could control herself the tears began to drop.

'How could you?'

  
'Hillary, sweetie. I'm so sorry, please believe me. I'm so so sorry. I...'

  
'Don't you dare!'

Anger came quick.

'Don't you dare say you are sorry William! Don't you even dare! How could you? (Uncontrollable sobs) How could you lie to me?'

He wasn't sure if he should answer the question but deep down he knew he had too, he had just admitted to lying to the love of his life. Just admitted his stupid mistake in a moment of pure foolish weakness.

'I was so ashamed of what I did, I can't explain it other than that. I'm sorry.'

Her sobs were gut wrenching, her pain was unbearable, her rage hadn't hit her yet. Then she asked the question that Bill feared she would ask.

'Why am I not ever enough for you? Why am I not good enough?'

'Hillary....'

'No Bill! Answer me! I mean I changed my looks, took your last name and it still wasn't ever good enough for the Clinton's. I did all of that for you! Yet here we are again.'

'Baby, please try and believe me when I tell you it's not you. You are my everything, you are the love of my life.'

'But yet you have broken our vows and me AGAIN! If you loved me like you say then why would you do this to me... to us?'

Even though she was screaming and putting herself down, which killed him, he was silently glad they were at least talking about this. No matter how painful it was.

'Honey, I'm sorry that I cannot explain my weakness and lapse of judgment. I've tried to explain it to myself and I simply can't. I'm not using that as an excuse, I promise you. I need to understand within myself why I did this. Why I did this terrible thing to you... yes again.'

'The Republicans have had us under a magnifying glass for 7 years, they haven't had anything on us because we've been truthful about everything and now you go and hand them something on a silver platter! Did you not think of that?'

'No I didn't. I really don't know what more I can say. I have no excuses for my actions.'

He hung his head in shame. No one would understand why she would choose to stay, no one would be able to grasp why. It was moments like this, when he would break and reveal his flaws, when he would open up to only her about his inner demons. She knew Bill, she knew his heart, she knew it wasn't her that was causing this but at the moment in her feelings she was trying to find answers anyway she could.

Bill was not at all a bad man, he just did a bad thing and he would do whatever was necessary to fix it... to fix himself.

'You must be the one to tell Chelsea, you need to explain to her why you lied to her.'

Bill lowered his head even more and tears started falling. His princess, he would give anything to save her from this hurt and his shame.

'Can I take a minute to collect myself?'

She couldn't explain it, but she felt for him in that moment.

After he told Chelsea, with Hillary standing in the doorway of her bedroom she had gone back to the private bedroom. She needed to be alone. Alone in her thoughts. _'Why does he keep doing this to us?'_ She tried to understand it but the more she had tried the deeper she went into darkness, but no one would know it she never once showed how deep she had sunk in darkness.

A light tap on the door broke her out of her thoughts. She straightened herself to look as presentable as possible.

'Come in!'

In walked the head butler.

'Ma'am is there anything I can get for you?'

'Thank you Gerald, I think I'm okay for now. Is my husband back from the office yet?'

'Yes ma'am he's in his private office.'

She nodded and got up out of the bed, she put her robe over her pajamas and made her way to his private office. When she showed up he was stunned for many reasons; 1. He never thought after this morning she would seek him out, 2. Her brokenness was eating him up inside. 3. She was the most resilient person he knew. 4. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he was a fool.

'Hi'

  
She looked deep into his eyes.

'Hello darlin'

They made eye contact for a bit before she had to break it.

'Bill, I think we should speak with someone. If we are going to fix us and our marriage we need to lay it all on the table and find a way to put the pieces back together.'

Light tears appeared in his eyes, he was so overwhelmed. She wanted to fix them, him really, to put him back together and she was willing to work on this with him.

'You really want to do that with me?'

'I want to try, we have a long history and there has been more good than bad. But we cannot keep doing this... (A deep sigh.) I can't keep doing this. I loved you the moment I met you Bill Clinton, I know that there has to be an explanation for why you've done this to me and to yourself.'

'It probably doesn't mean much right now but I love you with all my heart Hillary. I don't want to keep doing this and I need to understand why I have done this. I thank you for giving me this chance and I'm extremely grateful that you want to do it with me.'

'Well when someone you love is hurting you don't walk away... you stay and help them. I can't promise you what will happen afterwards but I can promise I'll give it a chance.'

'I appreciate that honey, I truly truly do.'

'Some of the staff have made their way up to the solarium to get you ready for your address tonight. I can't be there to help you, the pain is still to much.'

'I understand Hilly, and I think it might be a good idea for a while that I not sleep in our bedroom. I want to give you space to breath and think.'

'Thank you Billy, thank you for understanding.'

  
That night it was a roller coaster of emotions. And he heard every single one in the adjacent room, he knew he deserved to, he deserved to hear the pain he caused her. She is the only woman he has truly loved and he broke her like no one has or ever could. That would be his burden to carry around and his scarlet mark.

She cried deep into his pillow, the exhausting sobs were because he wasn't there to hold her. He wasn't there to snuggle up against, his smell was missing, the sound of his heart beating through his chest when she laid her head on it to hear it's rhythmic thumping. The first night was difficult, tomorrow they were boarding Marine One for a family vacation she was not at all in the mood for. She could barely look at him or anyone because of the pure shame she felt.

All she could tell herself that night was... One day and one night at a time.


End file.
